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You Can Never Run From Yourself

It does not matter where you go, how far you run or even where you try to hide. You always take yourself with you. Cindy Nicolson

As water reflects (mirrors) the face, so one’s life reflects (mirrors) the heart. (Proverbs 27:19 NKJV)

God taught me this truth many years ago. And since, I’ve had to learn the same lesson, over and over and over again. 

It seems so obvious to say it out loud. Yet, every time the thought pops up into my mind, it makes me sit back and think. 

It makes me stop and reflect on what’s really going on in my heart and mind. 

Most people don’t realise that their battle is not external. The battle is:

  • not with your kids
  • not with your husband, wife or partner
  • not with any of your family members
  • not with your friend
  • not the difficult job or boss
  • not the situation you keep seeming to find yourself in
  • Or the circumstances you just can’t seem to escape.
  • It’s not your car that keeps breaking down
  • Or the fact that you never have enough money
  • It’s not that you can’t seem to maintain a friendship, let alone a long-lasting relationship
  • It’s not that you seem to clash with everyone around you, all the time.

You can resign from your job and walk away from your boss, and your frustration or unhappiness may leave for a while but it will slowly start creeping back in when you join the next company. 

You can walk away from your spouse and children, but your heart will forever ache with those unresolved issues and heartache you left behind. 

You can vow to never speak to your best friend again, but you’ll keep fighting with her in your head, believing that you were right to walk away from someone who has been there for you for most of your life. 

This battle is internal. It’s the one inside your head and your heart. The battle is within and with yourself.

How do you know what’s in your heart? 

A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil. For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks. Luke 6:45 NKJV

You’ll know what’s in your heart when you pay attention to what’s coming out of your mouth. 

Whether it’s complaining (A big one!!), lying, gossiping, arrogance, deceitfulness, malicious talk, or pretentiousness, …..fill in the blank…, because the list continues. 

When you hear what comes out of your mouth - You’ll know what’s in your heart.

It’s hard to consciously take a look inside ourselves to search out the intentions of our own hearts. It’s easier to point a finger and blame someone or something else for what we are feeling or going through.

But more often than not, the turmoil we’re feeling inside (which we think is because of an external source) is because our own hearts and minds need adjusting. 

And that adjustment does not need to take much effort. 

It’s about making the choice to recognise and acknowledge what’s in our hearts, asking God for forgiveness and CHANGING.

If it affects someone else, you may need to reach out to them to ask for forgiveness or extend forgiveness. If they don’t accept your forgiveness or won’t forgive you - it’s not on you. Your responsibility is to take the first step - because this is what sets you free. Of course, you have to mean it - so it may take some time - but please, for your own sake, do it. 

We will each stand ALONE before God one day and have to answer for what WE DID. We will not need to answer for whether someone else chose to deny you forgiveness and freedom or answer for what they did or did not do. 

Our Life = Our Decisions = Our Eternity! 
Their Life = Their Decisions - Their Eternity! 

Asking for forgiveness means that you’ll change what you’re doing and thinking. We don’t have to over-complicate it. The more you try and overthink it, the more the enemy will try and get a foothold in your thoughts and convince you to remain where you are.

Forgiveness does not only release the other person, but it releases you and it’s truly amazing when you see the work God can do through you once you’ve taken this step. 

Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us. Romans 5:5 (NKJV)

How beautiful that we don’t have to do it on our own. Ask for and then accept the help of the Holy Spirit, who brings comfort, breakthrough and the power to destroy the hold the enemy tries to have in our hearts and minds.

Read: Isaiah 10:27

Let’s face it, some tests you are just going to have to retake until the lesson is learnt. 

Like I have, on more occasions than I care to admit, you find yourself in the same situation as you have before, facing the same type of people and the same stressful circumstances; Instead of turning your finger of accusation towards them, or running away from the problem, ask yourself these few questions: 

  • What do I need to learn from this? 
  • What is God revealing in my heart that needs to change?
  • What mindset shift needs to take place?
  • How am I meant to grow? 
  • What Do I need to do differently to create a different outcome
  • Lord, show me how to change and grow into WHO you want me to be in this situation.

I’ve learnt so much just from stopping and taking stock of the CONTENT AND INTENT of my own heart and mind over the years. Don’t get me wrong, I’m nowhere near perfect and I’m on a journey as much as you are, but I’m also nowhere near where I used to be, or the person I once was. 

My prayer is that as this year comes to a close, you’ll allow the saving grace of the Holy Spirit to remove all those feelings of regret, heaviness, unforgiveness, anger, hurt and anxiety from your heart and mind so that you no longer feel the need to run away or hide. I pray that you can Embrace Grace and all the freedom God has for you through His Son, Jesus Christ, our Saviour and King.

Further reading

  • Ephesians 3:14-20
  • Colossians 3:15
  • Isaiah 9:4-7
  • Isaiah 10:27
  • Proverbs 4:23
  • Proverbs 14:30
  • Hebrews 10:22
  • Matthew 9:22
  • Matthew 15:18
  • Matthew 18:35
  • John 7:38
  • Matthew 22:37
  • John 14:1
  • John 3:16-17

Always remember, You are Loved, Chosen and Redeemed

Cindy xx

woman looking at her own reflection in water